From Overwhelmed to Inclusive: How Emotional Intelligence Transforms New Leaders
Mei’s Wake-Up Call
Mei had always been the go-to engineer on her team—precise, reliable, quietly excellent. So when she was promoted to lead a fast-growing biotech team, everyone assumed she’d thrive. She assumed it too.
Within weeks, things started slipping. Her team hesitated to speak up in meetings. Deadlines passed quietly. She worked longer hours trying to “fix” things, but the silence only grew. Feedback, when it came, was vague and polite—until one blunt coworker finally said:
“We’re not sure you even see us.”
That comment hit hard.
Mei realized her leadership style mirrored how she was once led: results first, people second. But now, that approach was eroding trust. She was working harder than ever—yet felt disconnected and discouraged.
So she decided to lead differently.
Insights: The Cost of Emotional Blind Spots
1. Emotional Intelligence Is a Must-Have, Not a Nice-to-Have
Managers with high emotional intelligence (EQ) are more effective at motivating and retaining talent. EQ—especially self-awareness and empathy—creates the psychological safety teams need to thrive. You can’t afford to assume that everyone else on your team is motivated by the same reasons you are for doing a job well. Taking the time to build relationships lets you avoid needless conflicts when trying to find the intersection of their desires and the job requirements.
2. Inclusive Leadership Drives Innovation and Trust
Inclusion is about making people feel heard and valued. Without it, performance suffers—even when good intentions are present. As Covey once said: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Creating a safe psychological space is the only way to get your team to move past polite, vague answers and get to the useful feedback so both the company and its employees benefit. When your people feel supported, that’s the springboard they need to elevate the quality of their work.
3. Burnout and Disconnection Are Rising for New Leaders
Especially in hybrid environments, new managers often lack the emotional tools to lead well. The result? Control tactics or retreat, both of which damage trust. Ineffective leaders settle for short-term compliance at the cost of long-term relationship damage. Whether leveraging autonomy, flow state, or connecting work to greater purposes and impact, effective leaders look to move from coercion to engagement. It doesn’t mean they don’t hold their teams accountable. But they do so without micromanaging.
Actions: What New Leaders Can Do Right Now
1. Pause and Reflect
Ask yourself: What assumptions am I making about how my team works? What kind of leader do I want to be?
2. Listen Deeply
Start 15-minute check-ins and ask:
What’s working for you?
What do you wish I did differently?
How do you want to grow?
3. Design Inclusive Habits
Rotate meeting facilitation
Ask for input in multiple formats
Acknowledge unseen contributions
4. Build Resilience Through Support
Find a mentor, coach, or peer group. Leadership doesn’t have to feel isolating. Knowing you’re not alone in this journey is what helps you move forward. To maximize your community, find a mentor, peer, and mentee. Giving, receiving, and sharing are all equally helpful.
5. Plan for Growth, Not Perfection
You weren’t promoted to have all the answers. You were promoted to grow. As James Clear would remind his readers, improve a little each day. Then trust that the incremental gains will add up over time. You’d be surprised at who you might become after enough persistence, evaluation, and time.
Final Thought
Leadership starts when you stop performing and start connecting. Emotional intelligence isn’t a buzzword—it’s the foundation of trust and inclusive impact.
Like Mei, you can lead differently—starting today.
