The Unspoken Rules of Leadership in Western vs. Eastern Cultures
What happens when values like harmony and hierarchy meet feedback and individualism?
You’ve just stepped into a leadership role. You’re excited, ready, and qualified.
But almost immediately, things feel...off.
You’re praised for your “quiet strength” — but passed over in meetings.
You ask for consensus — and are told to “just make a decision.”
You avoid calling someone out publicly — and are seen as lacking “executive presence.”
If you’re a high-performing professional from an Eastern background in a Western organization, you’ve likely felt this tension. It’s not just personal — it’s cultural. And it’s time we name it. More than likely, you’re dealing with a situation I like to call “flip-flop leadership,” where the leaders will flip to whatever side is more convenient for them to justify criticizing you.
1. Western Leadership Norms: Say More, Own the Room
In most U.S. and Western European workplaces, leadership is often measured by:
Visibility (“Speak up more in meetings”)
Speed and decisiveness
Assertiveness, especially under pressure
“Executive presence” — often coded as charisma plus dominance
There’s an implicit rule here: Be seen to be trusted. Be bold to be respected.
2. Eastern Leadership Norms: Harmony Before Ego
Meanwhile, Eastern leadership values are shaped by centuries of Confucian ideals and collectivist thinking:
Deference to hierarchy
Listening before speaking
Speaking in implications rather than direct demands (what I like to call “leading by hinting”)
Conflict-avoidance in the name of harmony
Here, the unspoken rule is: Be humble to be wise. Be harmonious to be strong.
3. When These Norms Clash
Imagine what happens when these two scripts play out in the same room:
The Eastern-influenced leader waits to speak, while the Western norm values immediacy.
A leader gives subtle cues instead of direct feedback — and is seen as evasive.
“Quiet confidence” is interpreted as lack of ambition.
Neither script is wrong. But when one is dominant (as it often is in Western workplaces), the other becomes invisible — and the leader carrying it is told to “fix” something that’s not broken. Worse, the Eastern-influenced leader doesn’t get the chance to speak because of time constraints.
4. What To Do If You’re Caught Between These Worlds
Reframe: You’re not behind — you’re bicultural.
You speak two leadership languages. That’s a strategic edge.
Adapt, don’t erase.
Yes, learn to speak more directly. But don’t abandon your empathy, your thoughtfulness, or your respect for context — those are leadership strengths.
Name what’s invisible.
If you lead a multicultural team, make space to talk about these differences. Psychological safety increases when we realize our differences aren’t deficits.
Start with small shifts.
Instead of “Do you have thoughts?” → try “What’s one thing you’d challenge in this approach?”
Instead of deferring completely → say “Here’s my point of view — and I’m open to feedback.”
5. You Don’t Have to Choose One Culture to Lead Well
You can learn the dominant language of leadership without losing your own.
Leadership isn’t just about what works in a room — it’s about what makes a room work.
More than ever, learning to read a room informs how you adjust your approach. This is the biggest reason to have a translator for the group, and a coach for individual development.
Reflection Prompt:
Where have your cultural values helped your leadership — and where have they clashed with the norms around you?
Feel free to comment below, or if you want to discuss your situation in more depth, schedule a complimentary call.
